Bandung Confinement Case, IPB University Expert Highlights the Dangers of Coercive Control
The recent confinement case in Bandung serves as another reminder that abuse in relationships does not always leave physical scars. Behind what appears to be an ordinary relationship, a person may experience ongoing control, manipulation, and intimidation that gradually strips away their freedom and autonomy.
According to the Chairperson of the Center for Gender and Child Studies (PKGA) at IPB University, Dr Yulina Eva Riany, this condition is known in psychology as coercive control.
“Coercive control is a pattern of manipulative, intimidating, and threatening behaviors that gradually causes victims to lose their freedom, sense of safety, self confidence, and ability to make decisions. What needs to be recognized is not just a single incident, but a pattern of behavior that continuously erodes the victim’s autonomy,” she explained.
She noted that the concept, introduced by Evan Stark, can take many forms, including isolating victims from their family and friends, controlling their communication and social media, restricting their activities, unilaterally controlling finances, and engaging in gaslighting that causes victims to question their own memories and judgment. Because these behaviors develop gradually, they are often mistaken for signs of care or affection.
Dr Yulina explained that many people wonder why victims remain in unhealthy relationships. According to her, the answer is far more complex than simply “not wanting to leave.”
“The more appropriate question is not, ‘Why doesn’t the victim leave?’ but rather, ‘What factors make it difficult for the victim to leave?’ Victims often face emotional dependence, financial pressure, concerns about their children, threats from the perpetrator, and limited social support,” she said.
Psychologically, these conditions can be explained through attachment theory, the phenomenon of trauma bonding, and learned helplessness. Victims may develop strong emotional attachments to perpetrators due to recurring cycles of abuse followed by apologies and promises to change. Repeated experiences of control can also leave victims feeling powerless and believing that nothing they do will change their situation.
Dr Yulina added that relationships leading to psychological abuse typically develop gradually, making them difficult to recognize. Warning signs include excessive jealousy and possessiveness, controlling a partner’s social interactions, demanding full access to their phone and social media accounts, belittling a partner, making them constantly feel guilty, using emotional threats, engaging in gaslighting, and love bombing that later evolves into controlling behavior.
“Victims often do not realize they are experiencing psychological abuse because these behaviors develop little by little and become normalized as expressions of care,” she said.
The impacts of psychological abuse should not be underestimated. Victims are at risk of experiencing chronic stress, depression, anxiety disorders, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Continuous manipulation can also damage self esteem, cause victims to lose confidence in themselves, and make it difficult for them to make decisions.
“Psychological abuse can be just as severe as, and in some cases even more enduring than, physical abuse. Victims become deeply uncertain about themselves and struggle to establish healthy boundaries in relationships,” she stated.
She emphasized that families and communities play a crucial role in supporting victims. Support should be provided by listening without judgment, validating victims’ experiences, and encouraging them to seek assistance from mental health professionals or legal aid when necessary.
“Victims need support, not judgment. The most important thing is to help them feel heard, believed, and reassured that they are not alone in facing this situation,” she concluded. (AS)(IAAS/PRP)
